Hi. I’m Lisa. I’m 33 years old and I’ve basically been to hell and back. Why is that? You’ll find out when you join me as I open up in this blog, but I think my Blog Name gives you a pretty good idea. My husband and I started dating in 2012, got married in 2017, decided to start trying for a baby mid 2018, got pregnant in May of 2019, had an emergency C-section Nov. 2019, and lost our baby early Dec. 2019.
It has not been easy. I cry every. single. day. (of course I do, it’s only been 6 weeks and a few days since her death), and I know I’ll never “get over it”. I know I’ll never be the same person I once was. My life is forever changed. Currently, I truly cant stand others announcing they are pregnant, or that their 20-week ultrasounds were perfect, or hearing moms gripe about their kids. I “hate” these people…because I’m jealous. I don’t get to have that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy for them. I mean no ill will whatsoever and love hearing stories about their kids/pregnancies- I’m just jealous and sad and…”hate” them.
I don’t want my daughter to be forgotten just because no one got to know her – and sadly, I’m almost certain that will happen eventually. I’m hoping, with this blog, that her memory, and my story, will live on. I know I’m not the only one — I cant be. I hope reading my story helps someone else out there know they aren’t alone as well. Bad sh*t happens. There is original sin in the world (thanks Eve!) – that’s why we have rape, murder, abductions, and yes, infant death. Thankfully, we also have science. Scientists and doctors are finding new ways to save babies with different issues every day. It just hasn’t been developed for preemies yet and one reason why my daughter isn’t here today.
Although my story is a sad one, it is not meant to make you cry (but I’m sorry if it does). It is not meant to make you feel scared or worried or awkward. I just want to share my story and hope others can find comfort knowing they are not alone. I want Adriana to be forever remembered.